Revelation

“God, I feel quite apathetic.”

This is what I wrote in my journal on Monday morning. I wasn’t really looking forward to the week. I didn’t want to feel apathetic but that’s how I was feeling. I prayed that He would revive me and renew me.

And guess what? He did!

“Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” – Jeremiah 33:3

On Monday nights, there is ministry night in the prayer room here. Anyone can come and there is worship and prayer and we just see where God leads. That night, we were specifically praying for a revelation of God’s love.

“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:17-19

It was an amazing time of worship and prayer and God was revealing lots of little things to me throughout the night. But it wasn’t until I was walking back to my room that He brought it all together for me.

As I was thinking and processing, God began to reveal so much to me about His incredible love and His worthiness of my praise! I found a spot to sit down and just started journaling everything that came to mind.

I find it difficult to receive God’s love and grace and forgiveness because I am a perfectionist and tend to be very critical of myself. So often I focus on the past and on the mistakes I’ve made rather than looking to Jesus and accepting that I am forgiven. I believe lies instead of the truth of who I am in Christ. God really called me on this and showed me how it hurts Him when I don’t believe and receive His love and grace.

God reminded me of who I am in light of who He is. I love this quote by John Stott. He talks about the importance of reminding ourselves of who we are in Christ and believing this truth:

‘We should constantly be reminding ourselves who we are. We need to learn to talk to ourselves, and ask ourselves questions: “Don’t you know? Don’t you know the meaning of your conversion and baptism? Don’t you know that you have been united to Christ in His death and resurrection? Don’t you know that you have been enslaved to God and have committed yourself to His obedience? Don’t you know these things? Don’t you know who you are?” We must go on pressing ourselves with such questions, until we reply to ourselves: “Yes, I do know who I am, a new person in Christ, and by the grace of God I shall live accordingly.”’

God spoke to me about my identity and amazed me with how big His love is! His love is so deep and wide and real and He wants me to receive that love. He’s not holding it back – I’m the one who has been unwilling to fully receive it because I have been so focused on myself and my unworthiness. He wants me to experience His love, to amaze me with His love! When I chose to follow Jesus, there was rejoicing in heaven, there was a party! (Luke 15) That’s how much He loves us. He delights in me! He wants me to draw near to Him and to enjoy His presence.

And as I experienced God’s love, I was so overwhelmed with how worthy He is of our praise and worship! There is no one like Him!

“I am the first and I am the last, and there is no God besides Me. Who is like Me? Let him proclaim and declare it… Have I not long since announced it to you and declared it? And you are My witnesses. Is there any God besides Me? Or is there any other Rock? I know of none." – Isaiah 44:6-8

Nothing compares to Jesus! There is nothing on earth or in heaven that will satisfy us other than Him. He is so worthy! How could we not worship Him?

"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing. To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever." – Revelation 5:12-13 (read this whole chapter!)

There is so much more that God revealed to me that night and now I am trying to live it out day to day, moment by moment. Receiving His love and giving Him all the glory and honour and praise! I am realizing more and more that intimacy, loving God, is the most important thing. This comes first: knowing Him, worshipping Him, receiving His amazing love (Luke 10:27).

Out of receiving this revelation of His love and worthiness to be praised, God has been filling me with love for others. God loves all of us so much! In feeling His love for me, I have realized that He loves each person just as much as He loves me. As I pray for Thailand, I am deeply aware and moved by His love for the people of Thailand. They are so precious and valuable to Him and He longs for them to know Him intimately. Pray with me for Thailand!

Thank you for taking the time to read some of what God has been teaching me and revealing to me! Thank you for your prayer and financial support!

Also, some students from my DTS have been doing interviews with our speakers and have made a youtube channel. Here is the link if you want to hear more about what I've been learning: http://www.youtube.com/user/JusticeDTS2010.